A Sun in the Palm of Your Hand | Chapter 5

[healingbonds]

Chapter 4 << | index | >> Chapter 6


Location: Dojo


Kuro: Think about it. What it means for me—a well known, terrifying¹ delinquent—to enter the “Ryuuousen,” which allows violence

Can you imagine what the other guys thought of that?

Aside from me, most of them had never been in a real fight... rich boys, who had never hit anyone, or been hit by their parents

Try inviting those guys to the world of a delinquent manga

Of course they’re gonna back away; all they can do is cry, apologize, and run around

That’s normal. You can’t blame them for being “unmanly.” I’m the one who’s strange—the one who was able to beat people without hesitation back then


Tetora: Taishou.... isn’t strange; you’re a man among men


Kuro: That’s not true. You say that, and you always look at me with brilliant eyes, but....

Every time, inside my heart, I’d say, “that’s wrong”

I’m a bad apple². I’m not the kind of man who a good kid like you should admire

I always felt sorry; guilt plagued me. Every time you called me taishou

I wanted to disappear, I was so embarrassed..... Your voice, your admiration, and your gaze were a painful, heavy burden. I could never say that to you


Tetora: ....Taishou


Kuro: But, I’m gonna graduate soon. I really wanted to still look good while saying “goodbye,” but that sort of thing can’t be forgiven, right?

I really am irredeemably uncool, huh

That’s why I’m gonna tell you everything, at the very end. I’m gonna expose everything dirty and ugly about me

If you get disillusioned and hate me after that, then I’d be satisfied. It’s entirely my own fault

That’s why I dug up the “Ryuuousen” at a time like this

After you have a clear view of everything, think about whether or not it’s something that should be passed down

If you think it’s something detestable, something dirty and creepy.... Then you can decide to throw it aside

And move forward, before you become covered in the sludge of crimes like me

You’re a straightforward, good kid, who can live proudly under the sun, so

You shouldn’t become like me, a good-for-nothing who commits violent acts without understanding a thing

That’s why I told you, over and over again, “don’t become like me....” You need to find your own manly path

Someone like me shouldn’t be the ideal you’re aiming for

I’m not a man among men. I’m an idiot, the worst kind of delinquent who only hurts people

A man among men is someone like Morisawa. Someone who draws close to the weak, protects them, and loves them

Become like him, like a hero of justice who appears in stories.... A cool guy


Tetora: Is that why you introduced me to “Ryuseitai”?


Kuro: I don’t mind if you think so. Morisawa instead of me; “Ryuseitai” instead of “Akastuki”

I believed that that way, you could make better use of your strengths, and... grow up respectably


Tetora: What do you know about me, taishou?


Kuro: I do think I forced my own ideals onto you. To be honest, I couldn’t bear it

Seeing you delightedly following me, saying, “I’m gonna be like you”


Tetora: If I was bothering you, I wish you would’ve told me. Not now, at the very end, but way earlier... I was always hurting you, wasn’t I, taishou


Kuro: Don’t get me wrong, Tetsu. You’ve done nothing wrong. Being able to admire someone, and love them straightforwardly... that’s a respectable trait

But, that someone can’t be me

Do you understand? The “Ryuuousen” was a DreamFes used to rack up points

It was my weapon; “Akatsuki’s” weapon. A tool of conspiracy, a piece on a shogi board

In order to quickly spread our influence through Yumenosaki Academy, Hasumi utilized me, and came up with a DreamFes that would earn victories

There’s no tradition or anything to it. It’s a hoax

It might be similar to “Knights’” “duel.” You nominate someone who’s in the way, or someone you want to crush, as a challenger

Then you defeat them, and make them grovel at your feet

I’m the opponent. A terrifying delinquent

I would attack ruthlessly, and nobody could tell me off for it. Because those were the rules of the “Ryuuousen”

Sounds absurd, right? But it was efficient

Most of the time, people would throw in the towel before fighting. Of course they would; nobody wants to get slugged for no reason

Plus, I was their opponent—if I attacked seriously, they’d wind up in the hospital

If things went really badly, they could’ve suffered a serious injury with long-term effects. Nobody thought to seriously fight me; it was too scary

So of course, they’d run away. They’d give up before fighting, and choose to forfeit

Even if someone brave appeared on stage, I would crush them. Nobody could win; after all, they were all raised in a world far from violence

As a result, my winning percentage in the “Ryuuousen” was 100%

I won every battle. At the time, the DreamFes system was intentionally left loose, so even the “Ryuuousen” was recognized as an official DreamFes

Every time we hosted the “Ryuuousen,” we’d win points. We’d gain victories, and could crush any eyesores

Both I and the “Ryuuousen” were that sort of... weapon of mass destruction

With victories from the “Ryuuousen” and the like, Hasumi... or rather, the Student Council, conquered Yumenosaki Academy

That’s the history of “Akatsuki,” around the time of its establishment

That’s the dark side. “Akatsuki” was originally that sort of “unit”

We had “fine” walk the gorgeous, royal road, while we volunteered to play the villain

I also pushed this filthy revolution forward. I backed it up, and was covered in sins and blood

I kicked aside idols with dreams, and used them as a springboard—I was an executioner, who deserved to be detested

What do you make of that, Tetsu? Can you still admire me? Do you think I’m a man among men?

If you still think so, I question your sanity—or, should I say, you’re a spoiled brat who can’t see reality

You’re gonna become a pathetic guy who gets “exploited” by cunning guys like me

Chapter 4 << | index | >> Chapter 6



1. The idiom he uses basically means, "intimidating enough to silence a crying child" (with the terror of his name)
2. “Rotten tangerine,” actually: one spoiled fruit will ruin the whole stash